Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
The first thing that you need to do is make up your mind. Ask yourself, is the relationship worth saving at all? The important thing in saving a relationship is that both parties want to work hard to save it. If the other one is not too thrilled to save the relationship, then how can it work?
A lot of couples stay in a relationship for convenience’s sake, or maybe they opt in just for the sake of the children. That is not how to fix things. Saving a relationship requires both parties to be committed to turn the situation around.
The other thing that you need to know is that problems in a relationship is not the problem themselves. So home in on the core of the problem. Seek it out and flush it.
For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.
This means that you have to talk about this core problem if you want to save your relationship.
After you have targeted the fundamental problems you have to begin communicating your feelings to your partner. You can touch your partner, hold hands, as if you are trying to say that you want to reconnect with him or her. During the conversation, keep your emotions at check. You might hear some hurtful things, but bear in mind that your partner is not there to hurt you but to communicate with you.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
Last but not the least, you have to bear in mind that fixing a relationship is an on going process that can take a long time, lot’s of laughter, and lots of tears as well. Stop blaming your partner and be quick to apologize if you are at fault.
As long as your relationship is worth saving, I hope this article will help you a lot.
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