You and your partner have recently broken up. After careful consideration you have decided that the two of you not being together is just wrong. The planets aren’t aligned that way. You belong together and you want to get your ex back.
Because you feel so strongly about the rightness of your relationship you may be tempted to immediately contact your ex. You want to phone your ex at home or at work. You want to show up in a place where you know he or she is likely to be. You want to initiate contact and then force your ex to listen to reason.
But this is a critical time. If you try to talk to your ex now, so soon after the break up, you could put an end to this relationship forever. It will be difficult for you but you must have patience, you have to wait.
There Is A Reason For The Split
Remember, your break happened for a reason. Maybe for several reasons. You may not be able to see what caused the break up or if you know the cause maybe it just doesn’t make sense to you so you tend to want to dismiss it as unimportant. But if you go blundering in now, soon after the split, begging to be heard, demanding that your ex listen to reason, your version of reason, you will only make matters worse.
Difficult as it may be for you, now is the time to play the waiting game.
How long you need to wait before contacting your ex will be a tough decision for you. You have to think back to the circumstances of your break up and try to judge from those how long you should wait.
If the problems that caused the split were long simmering, wait longer. If there was shouting, recriminations, anger at the time of the split, wait even longer.
Carefully consider how long the cooling off period should be before you initiate contact. When you have decided on a period of time that you think is appropriate, think again, and then double it.
Use the Time Wisely
How ever long you decide to wait, use the time wisely. Again, think about the reasons for your break up. Blame can certainly be laid at the door of both you and your partner but you can only control your own actions.
Without beating yourself up think about your words and actions and the part they played in the split up. When the time is right to talk to your ex about reunion you have to understand your own faults and mistakes. You will need to be able to explain to your ex that you are aware of these problems and are already working to correct them.
The best relationships are often the ones that nearly failed. The patience, self-control and practical self-improvement you practice now will pay off with a renewed and better relationship with your ex in the future.
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